Success Stories
MR VILAKAZI’S JOURNEY TO INDEPENDENT LIVING
Mr Vilakazi (not his real name) became blind due to trachoma. At first, he had difficulty accepting his blindness. He used to keep himself aloof from family events and social gatherings. The team at KZN Blind and Deaf Society helped him in many ways: linked him with other blind people in a similar situation to be motivated; counselled him to uplift his belief in himself; also, joint counselling with his wife to accept his disability and make the most out of life. Mr Vilakazi was also trained by the orientation and mobility practitioner on mobility and skills of daily living. He bought himself a high tech blind friendly cell phone with helpful apps to make communication easy.
With all the interventions of KZN Blind and Deaf Society, Mr Vilakazi has accepted and adapted to his condition, gained a sense of independence; and he is coping better. With the support of his family members and Society, Mr Vilakazi’s mindset and attitude towards his condition has changed. He started by walking around the back yard of his house and doing light exercises. Now he walks by the Blue Lagoon and has started doing gym 2-3 days a week.
Since self-acceptance is a journey and not a destination Mr Vilakazi is in the right direction of the journey he has started. He has the will and a strong determination to maintain the momentum. We are proud to have facilitated these changes.
ASHA UDITH-KHELAWAN
My name is Asha Udith-Khelawan. I was born Deaf, I am the 2nd born of 3 siblings. The 1st born is my brother who can hear and the last born,my younger sister who is also my best friend and my closest companion.
When I was 3 years old, I had to go to Pietermaritzburg to a pre primary school for the Deaf Society because they were no pre primary schools for the Deaf in Durban. A few years later Verulam Deaf Society had opened its doors to Deaf learners, so I then moved back to Durban and attended the Deaf school in Verulam.
My parents are my role models! They didn’t give up on me. They motivated and encouraged me in my younger years. They always stood for me and they never said no about participating in any contests or sports.
When V N Naik School for the Deaf opened its doors in 1983 , I was enrolled there and was fully involved in sports, drama and funding raising , I also did many public awareness programmes at V N Naik school, for universities , hospitals and public gatherings.
I later went on to participate and win Miss Deaf KwaZulu-Natal in 1994 and later gain the title of being the 1st Miss Deaf South Africa in 1995 , which was held in Cape Town . I didn’t stop there ..I went on to win the Miss Springfield College pageant in 1998 where I did my teacher training.
In 1995 I was accepted to study at Gallaudet University in Washington DC in USA. I was chosen to be the first female president for the English Language Organisation in 1995-1996 in USA. Studying at the university was a wonderful experience. At the end of 1997, I returned to South Africa , with all sorts of ideas and knowledge to share with my peers.
In 1998, a Deaf teachers training programme was started at Springfield Teachers College in South Africa. I joined this programme and qualified as a teacher for the Deaf in 2000. I am presently a teacher at V N Naik School for the Deaf from 2001. I registered for a Further Education Diploma at Wits University in 2003 which I completed and graduated in 2005. I also received the Best Achiever for South African Sign Language in Deaf education from Wits University. I teach SASL, Technology, Life orientation Skills, Drama and NQF subjects. I am involve in many committees in V N Naik School. Now I’m the acting HOD of Intermediate phase.
I was involved with many members of Deaf communities and societies and I was a participated member in Kha Ri Gade Abet for Deaf adults , who wasn’t given the same opportunities I was given, teaching and helping them . I was a television presenter for a Deaf programme and then later became a presenter for a hearing television programme.
Motto: Deaf and Proud!
Message to Deaf People :
I’m sure you are no stranger to people always saying….” oh shame”…he or she’s Deaf but what none of these people know is that… We as Deaf feel they are the disadvantaged and we have the advantage. Dream the impossible!
Dream and always live life to the fullest.
BOUNDLESS LEADER
Ndumiso Nyawose is a blind member of the KwaZulu-Natal Blind & Deaf Society. He grew up with normal eyesight for his whole primary and high school life. Whilst furthering his studies at the University of KwaZulu-Natal, Ndu (as most people call him) started experiencing visual challenges that affected his reading, driving, and general mobility. He became partially sighted with very low vision and the deterioration of his eyesight for no apparent reason caused a lot of confusion and uncertainty in his life on and off campus. Doctors could not accurately determine what was the cause for a few years and in the midst of all of that he dropped out of University and struggled at different odd jobs as a result of his vision loss. Once finally diagnosed in 2015 with a rare eye condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa (also known as RP Dystrophy) – an incurable eye condition that causes visual deterioration, Ndu was now faced with a dramatically life-altering situation. In 2017, he enrolled at the KZN Blind & Deaf Society in the basic Braille & Computer Literacy classes. His experience at the Society went on to change his life forever as he gained in so many ways. Firstly, his experience there allowed him to meet and interact with other blind people as prior to that he had always felt alone and had never met any other blind person before. This was a key factor in rebuilding his confidence and positive attitude in life, as that also equipped him with a better understanding of how other blind people adapted and adjusted in various circumstances. Secondly, the skills he learnt allowed him to dream of going back to University and he enrolled back at UKZN. Thirdly, he was introduced to blind cricket by one of his peers and as an avid sportsman his whole life before becoming blind, being back on a sports field was something he thought would never happen ever again in his life.
Since going to the Society and meeting all of the crucial role-players in his life, Ndu has gone on to accomplish and achieve the following things:
- Academically, he graduated in 2019 with a B-Com degree in Economics and Business Management.
- He represented KwaZulu-Natal in Blind Cricket as a provincial team player from 2017 as a player until he eventually got promoted to take over as the provincial team Head Coach in 2021.
- Whilst studying and playing, he also got elected as the President of the KZN Association for Blind Cricket in 2018. He has since gone on to be elected another 2 times as the President of the organization.
- In 2019, he then got elected onto the National body for blind cricket as he got elected onto the Blind Cricket South Africa (BCSA) Executive Committee as the Vice President. He has since gone on to be elected and serve as the National Co-ordinator for the organization.
- In terms of personal accolades, Ndumiso was crowned as South Africa’s Best Sport Administrator at the 2022 South African Sports Awards for his work in blind cricket – the first time that someone from the sporting code has ever won an award at the prestigious South African Sports Awards. He was also a finalist at the KZN Sports Awards for the Best Sport Administrator in KwaZulu-Natal..
- In April 2024, as Head Coach of the Hollywoodbets Dolphins Blind Cricket team, he successfully led the team to become National Champions as they triumphed at the BCSA T20 National Championship. This success was the first time that KZN had ever become T20 National Champions in South African blind cricket history and was another incredible milestone for Ndu.
- He currently works as a facilitator and data capturer for an organization that aims to bring about social behavioural change in various communities around the country called Sukuma Ndoda Sakhe. He also works as a motivational speaker and Events MC.
- As a Coach and player for the KZN Blind & Deaf Society’s blind cricket team titled AmaQhawe, he has successfully led the team to successive T20 Heritage Cup triumphs in 2023 & 2024 (a competition which is the first in South Africa to feature blind cricket clubs from various provinces). Not only does he Coach and play for the Society, but he recently got elected and now serves on the Executive Committee of the KZN Blind & Deaf Society as well.
Ndu’s story is one of positivity, resilience, hard work and inspiration. He credits his close family and friends first for the support they gave him especially in his lowest moments, and each and every single person that he has met along the way that has supported and helped him along the way. He still has so much that he is determined to achieve in all spheres of life and he is always keen to break boundaries and stereotypes, and shift typical public perceptions about blind people and people with disabilities as a whole.
HELPLESS NO MORE
4 years ago, Mrs M was diagnosed with Glaucoma in which the doctors informed her that her eyesight was deteriorating slowly until she loses her vision completely. Mrs M became depressed with the diagnosis. Her mental health deteriorated along with her vision which made her feel helpless. Her husband heard from his friend about the services of KZN Blind and Deaf Society and immediately called for more information so that his wife can gain her independence again.
The O&M Assistant visited Mrs M at her home and informed her about the different skills that she will teach her to be independent. Mrs M was so happy that she will be receiving such training to make her life very simple and to be independent. The O&M Assistant taught Mrs M various skills of daily living such as using the microwave to heat her food, to make a cup of tea without spilling and burning herself with the hot water, how to identify the different types of notes like the R20, R50 and R100 correctly with the money template. Mrs M is so greatful to the KZN Blind and Deaf Society in assisting her to be an independent women as she copes with her blindness.
PHENOMENAL WOMEN - DIVASHYA KANAYE
My name is Divashya Kanaye. I am a former student of the V N Naik School for the Deaf, a school that was set up by this organization, the KZN Blind and Deaf Society. My early schooling years was a struggle as not much was known about Deaf education. However, our teachers faced the challenge, learnt Sign Language as this was very new in schools for the Deaf, and taught us through the medium of Sign Language. Even this was difficult for all of us, the commitment of our teachers towards our education was what helped us as students to learn and expand our knowledge. I also would like to thank my parents as they made sure that we had extra tuition so that we could have a strong.
In those early years there was no access to university education for Deaf students. We had very little to look forward to as there was no support services for Deaf students at the universities here, but my parents wanted us to have a strong education and wanted us to be able to graduate with degrees from a university. They knew that, provided there was the right support available, we would be able to succeed. After much research, and help from our former principal, the late Mr R R Pillay, my parents came to know about the Gallaudet University in Washington, DC, USA. This became a goal for our family, that we would travel to the USA for our higher education and we left South Africa in June of 1994.
It was a really great experience to attend a University that was focused on Deaf students and the main communication method was Sign Language. Although there was a little bit of a culture shock we settled in very quickly. Life at this University was an enjoyable experience and I made many lifelong friends. I chose Accounting as my major, and I excelled at it. I was on the Dean’s List of Awards every year of my studies and I graduated Magna Cum Laude.
On my return to South Africa, it was a struggle to get a job but I was fortunate to find a job and I am presently employed at HVM Accounting in Glenashley as an accountant. I am proud to also say that I have completed my professional board exams run by SAIPA and I am a now Professional Accountant.
#womensmonth
PARTNERSHIPS
KZN Blind & Deaf Society has a long standing and productive relationship with uMngeni municipality. Together the 2 organsiations have worked to improve the lives of persons with visual and hearing disabilities for many years. Society social worker Philiswa Monakali and and uMngeni special programmes facilitator was working together to assist persons with disability who are unemployed African living in rural areas who do not have finances to buy assistive devices for themselves. Their letter of motivation was met with enthusiasm from the Mayor ed . On the 29 August the mayor handed out the assistive devices to the beneficiaries and encouraged other people to support persons with disability. He also mentioned that Disability grant is not enough to pay rent, water electricity, to support themselves and buy assistive devices. The beneficiaries were so excited and thankful to KZN blind and Deaf society together with uMngeni municipality for the support.
OVERCOMING THE AFTERMATH OF PAIN AND BITTERNESS: PRETTY’S JOURNEY TO RECOVERY
Pretty (not her real name) is a client of the KZN Blind and Deaf Society. She is a mother of two kids and is in her late twenties. Pretty lost her eyesight after she was brutally assaulted with a hammer on her head in January 2024. The perpetrator fled the scene and police could not find him. Later in May it was reported that he committed suicide.
The incident had a profound affect on Pretty. She was in constant pain for which she is still taking medication; her relationship with her mother and kids was affected; she totally relied on others – especially on her mother and she hated her image; she was oversleeping; she was expressing feelings of sadness and bitterness, and it was difficult for her to accept her situation.
Pretty received counselling and psychosocial services from the Society’s social worker, which helped improve relationship with her mother. She was counselled on coping, conflict resolution, self-care, self-acceptance, developing positive self-image, boosting her self-esteem, mutual respect, tolerance, developing a routine / hobby, etc.
Our engagements with Pretty and with her mother regarding what she has been going through has yielded positive outcomes. As a result, their relationship has improved over the months; she has become more independent as she is able to do cleaning, makes her bed, bathes her kid, washes clothes, prepares breakfast, etc on her own.
She was also recommended to speak with a psychologist to deal with the effects of post trauma of the assault. Arrangements have also been made with the Orientation and Mobility Unit for her to be trained on mobility and skills of daily living.
In leaps and bounds, with her strong determination and our interventions Pretty is on a journey towards full recovery.
LEARNING AND GROWING THROUGH GROUP INTERVENTION
The Social Work provides weekly social work interventions at a school for learners with special needs. Learners, presenting with various behavioural problems in their classes are identified by the educators and then referred to the Social Worker. The social work does an assessment with each child to better understand the learner as a holistic being, current challenges, and factors that might have contributed to it. Learners are seen for individual and family counselling, support group therapy and / or referrals to other relevant stakeholders to deal with specific aspects that required specialised services.
Recently a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Group was formed by the social worker to help teenage learners with their challenges and inappropriate behaviours in the classroom. The group consisted of 8 members who agreed to joining the group. Over several weeks, the group focused on issues of self-awareness (including strengths and weaknesses), fostering self-confidence, how to be a better communicator (including learning communication skills), problem solving skills, regulating emotions, inclusivity in the classrooms, and organization skills. The group was successful in meeting its goals of improving individual member’s behaviour and academic progress; promoting social change; encouraging critical thinking and developing more positive relationships with each other. By the end of the group the learners were showing empathy and respect towards each other and themselves. They were reluctant to terminate with the sessions as they greatly benefitted.
Children with disabilities, like all children can benefit immensely from programmes and interventions tailored for their needs. Given time, energy and resources, the trajectory of their lives can be changed for the better.
BREAKING THE CHAINS: LIVING A LIFE OF PURPOSE AFTER ADDICTION AND CRIME
Phillip was born and raised in Inanda. He is the last born of five siblings. He had a very good upbringing living with both his parents and was reportedly not a troublesome boy. Things changed when he was in matric. Phillip associated himself with a group of “bad” friends. He started using drugs and terrorizing his neighborhood. Phillip and his friend would break into homes and steal valuable items which they sold in order to be able to finance their addiction. He was in and out of prison, placing his family in a lot of financial constraints because his parents had to constantly pay for his bail. His behaviour also affected his family’s relationship with the community, who did not like him or trust him. His family had attempted on numerous occasions to enroll him into a rehabilitation center, but Phillip would escape every time.
On one fateful day in 2023, angry community members assaulted Phillip and his friends. He started experiencing challenges with his eyesight and asked his family to take him to rehab for the last time. This time he actually stayed for 3 months and completed the treatment.
Thereafter Phillip went to Mc Cord Provincial Eye Hospital, and he was diagnosed with glaucoma. Phillip was referred to the KZN Blind & Deaf Society by a social worker at the Department of Social Development in June 2023. The KZNBDS social worker conducted a psychosocial assessment with him and later on his family through a home visit so as to get a bigger picture about Phillip’s life, challenges and how best the society can help him lead a positive life with his visual impairment.
Phillip showed a big determination to change his life for the better. The KZNBDS social worker provided counselling sessions to help him accept his disability. Family interviews were conducted to help Phillip gain his family’s trust and support. Phillip is a father as well so the social worker enrolled him into a support group for visually impaired parents so that he may be empowered as a parent who had a disability. This also gave him an opportunity to interact with other parents who have a similar disability to his.
The social worker referred Philip to the Orientation and Mobility team. He is in the process of receiving indoor and outdoor training. He was given a donated white cane to help him walk independently. Phillip was referred for Braille and computer classes. He feels very fortunate to have received all the support and skills from KZNBDS. He says that he did not know that he could still live a normal and fulfilled life with a visual impairment.
BUILDING BRIDGES
I began my career at KZN Blind and Deaf society in 2006 as a community-based rehabilitation. I was very committed to working with blind and Deaf persons and when the opportunity arose for me to work as a sign language interpreter, I was very excited.
Not many people understand what this entails. The best way to explain it is that I bridge a communication bridge between a Deaf person and a hearing person. The Deaf person uses South African Sign Language which involves hand signs, gestures, facial expression, and body movements to communicate. The Deaf culture is also an important part of their communication. The hearing person uses English or isiZulu which has its own vocabulary and sentence structure. My role is to accurately convey the massage to and from both parties in a way that makes sense to them. This is more than interpreting word for word. Sign language interpreters abide by a code of ethics which includes amongst others dress code and confidentiality.
At KZNBDS I interpret during social workers counselling interviews with Deaf persons and their families, for group work programmes and for Deaf staff during trainings and meetings. This ensure that Deaf persons can fully access the Society services and staff are fully included. The sign language interpreting service is also available to companies and government departments with their employees and at their events, as they usually do not have full time interpreters employed. This is obviously a barrier for employees and customers who can only communicate with sign language. When there is no interpreter present, Deaf persons have to write down information, take someone with them or are turned away. This is an infringement on their rights to access services. Deaf persons feel isolated and excluded from family, work, and community life.
We therefore encourage companies and the general community to learn sign language to be able to communicate with people in everyday settings like at supermarkets, places of worship, banks, clinics etc. Learning sign language is part of building an inclusive society where all persons can fully participate. I hope to meet you at our next basic sign language class where you will learn about Deaf culture, vocabulary, and grammar. You will learn to communicate in South African Sign Language and also build communication bridges between yourself and Deaf persons. Contact socialwork1@bdskzn.co.za for more information on the course.
I BELIEVED I COULD SO I DID!
Zaba Ngcobo was born at Ndwedwe. Zaba was born Deaf, and both his parents are deceased. He has a 5-year-old daughter. Zaba did not get an opportunity to finish school and further his studies because his family had no knowledge of Deaf schools since they lived in deep rural part of Ndwedwe Working at the KZN Blind & Deaf Society helped him discover his strengths and opportunities. Zaba is also a very active staff member, always willing to participate in society events by helping with logistics or doing entertainment. He is a very talented dancer. He started working at the KZN Blind & Deaf Society since 2015 as a general worker under Colliers workshop where they worked mostly with plumbing products putting the pieces together and packing in big bags for delivery to the client. He later became a supervisor. Zaba then joined the sewing course class in 2022 where he excelled in his work. Zaba was appointed by the organization to attend the sewing machine repair course. He attended the course with the help of an interpreter for 5 months and found the course was very helpful to him. Zaba hopes to use the skills he got from the course to explore other opportunities in future. Zaba is thankful to the KZNBDS for the opportunity to study further.
LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
Mrs Penny is a 54-year-old woman from Phoenix who is visually impaired due to glaucoma. Glaucoma which is an eye disease that damages the optic nerve and causes vision loss. Glaucoma can be inherited through genetic mutations from parents. In Mrs Penny’s case four other paternal family members have glaucoma and are visually impaired. Mrs Penny is a wife and a mother of two. She lost her independence. Even simple daily tasks that she previously did effortlessly such as cooking and cleaning became a challenge. She had to rely on her husband and children for most things. At times they would refuse to assist her. Mrs Penny also lost her job due to her disability, meaning loss of incoming that is beneficial to the family.
In 2018 she heard about KZNBDS and came to see the social worker. She was assessed by the social worker who discovered many other social challenges that the client was experiencing including a distant relationship with relatives and by implication a lack of support systems marital problems and parenting issues. Counselling and support were provided to the client over a period. These included home visits to provide family counselling. Mrs Penny was also referred to McCord’s Hospital since her vision had worsened and to Sassa for disability grant application. The application was successful, and the grant assisted the family with their expenses. Mrs Penny was referred for Orientation and Mobility training which helped her regain her independence so that she did not need to depend on her family to do everything for her.
Over time, new marital problems surfaced and one of her children developed a drug addiction. Her husband and children became abusive. The social worker again intervened with several home visits, intensive counselling, and referral to other resources to assist with the new challenges. These included applying for a protection order and rehabilitation centres. Food hampers were provided when available. Mrs Penny’s father demised, and bereavement counselling was provided to her and family members to cope with the loss. Mrs Penny is attending parenting support groups facilitated by the social worker client. She has improved emotionally – she is happier and has accepted her disability, she enjoys socialising with other blind people. The social worker has provided hope to the client and have improved her life for the better
KHANYI'S STORY...
Many hearing parents of deaf children do not know sign language and this barrier in communication affects their relationship and family life. Hearing parents often feel frustrated as they cannot understand their Deaf children’s behaviour or misbehavior, are not aware of what is going on in their life and may not be happy with the Deaf young adult spending so much time out of the home with friends. Deaf children grow up feeling isolated as they are excluded from conversations, cannot enjoy the same activities with others and feel as if they do not belong. They might become sensitive as they see others laughing and might assume that they are being laughed at. Later in life, these poor family relationships can lead to Deaf persons seeking love and validation outside their home with friends and romantic relationships. As the sign language facilitator KZN Blind & Deaf Society I teach basic South African Sign Language to hearing persons. This is something I am passionate about as it is not just about teaching another language. It is about helping families build relationships. Several of the students in our classes have Deaf family members at home. As they go through the course, they report how communication and relationships are improving. They are grateful to KZNBDS for offering the course.
NOMFUNDO: COMFORTABLE IN HER OWN SKIN
Nomfundo (not her real name) is a client of the KZN Blind and Deaf Society. She is 10 years old and is in grade 4. She is partially sighted and has vitiligo, a disease that causes loss of skin color in patches. The discolored areas usually get bigger with time. The condition can affect the skin on any part of the body. It can also affect hair and the inside of the mouth. It’s caused by the lack of melanin, which is the pigment in skin.
She was diagnosed with low vision at McCord Provincial Eye Hospital in 2019. She was given eyeglasses to help her improve her eyesight. In class she sits in the front to see clearly.
Due to her poor eyesight and skin condition, she has been bullied and teased by other learners at school. This has negatively impacted her self-image and self-esteem. As a result, she didn’t have many friends to play with and thought of moving to a new school. Nomfundo’ s mother was counselled to keep her at the same school so that we can work with the family and with the school to educate the learners about disability in general. Accordingly, arrangements were made with the school to educate the learners around bullying, diversity, embracing one another and to sensitize them on disability. This was done by the area social worker with about 60 grade 4 learners in March 2024. A second programme was conducted in April with the whole school assembly (about 810 learners and staff members) on bullying, disability sensitisation, disability etiquette – with more emphasis on blindness and deafness. The social worker was accompanied by a sign language interpreter and facilitator to make it more practical. According to the school HOD, “the programmes were informative, valuable and excellently presented. The school has benefitted a lot”.
Further follow ups with Nomfundo, her mother and class teacher have revealed that the bullying and teasing incidents have significantly decreased. Nomfundo is happy at school, and she has made new friends who don’t tease her. Despite this, her schoolwork remains a cause for concern. Her academic performance remains poor. Discussions were held with the school on the need to refer her for Support Needs Assessment (SNA) to have a better understanding of her learning challenges and to determine if additional support is needed. Parallel to this, her mother has approached a neighbor who is a retired teacher to assist Nomfundo with her schoolwork at home. He has agreed to start in August.
Nomfundo has been counselled around enhancing self-acceptance, positive self-image and self-esteem. Our engagements with her, her parents and the school will continue to ensure that Nomfundo reaches her full potential.
OVERCOMER...
Mrs S is 61 years old. She was diagnosed with Cataracts and the private Ophthalmologist recommended a Catract operation on both her eyes. After the operation, Mrs S was informed that the operation was unsuccessful and she lost vision in both her eyes. She became depressed and lost all self-confidence because of her blindness. Everyday she just sat at home. She didn’t do anything at all. The things she enjoyed doing like cooking, was done by family members who were fearful that she would be injured.
Mrs S heard about the KZN Blind and Deaf Society and the services they provide to visually impaired persons. She visited the office Society to request independence skills training and skills of daily living. The Orientation & Mobility Assistant started training Mrs S with indoor skills (how to cook, clean, make a cup of tea, washing dishes and how to identify money like notes & coins). These lessons were done over several weeks at a pace that was comfortable for Mrs S. She is coping well with all these techniques and was able to apply all the techniques safely and correctly. Mrs S can walk independently around the house by applying Human Guide skills. She can now clean her home independently and make tea herself and she gained her confidence in her ability to do things for herself. She will begin outdoor skills training soon. Her family is very happy that she can now go into the kitchen and do the cooking and cleaning well without hurting herself in the process.
KINDNESS
Pela was born in Ulundi and had a happy childhood with his parents and 3 siblings. He was raised to be a disciplined young man who’s also a hard worker. After completing his studies, he later moved to Durban for employment. He worked at a large shipping company and at age 31 started building a home for him, his partner and their children. Everything seemed to be going well until a fateful day in July 2022. Pela went to Umlazi with a friend and his life changed forever. Out of nowhere a pair of gunmen appeared and shot him multiple times. He was rushed to hospital in a critical condition. Fortunately, he survived the injuries but this incident left Pela completely blind in both eyes.
After discharge, Pela was referred to KZN Blind and Deaf Society for further assistance. The Social Worker conducted home visits offering psychosocial support to the client and his family. Initially the emphasis was on grief counselling as he was struggling to accept the loss of his vision, mobility and employment. At first Pela was not very keen on receiving Society’s assistance because he viewed being blind as the end of his life. With ongoing counselling, and training from the Orientation and Mobility team, Pela started to accept the huge changes in his life. He joined the support group facilitated by the social worker where he interacted with other people with the same disability and became empowered. It was not an easy journey but through the support of his family, KZNBDS staff, the support group members and his previous employer, Pela is now more determined to live his life to the fullest and play an active role in his family.
Ms. Deaf International 2022, MEGAN HOLMES
Talk by Our Guest of Honour Megan Holmes, Ms. Deaf International 2022 at KZNBDS Mother’s Day Breakfast
I’m honoured to be speaking to you. I hope that you feel excited as I am to be part of this special moment. My name is Megan. I’m Ms. Deaf International 2022. The first ever Ms. to win an international title. I’m a sports fanatic and a mom of a Deaf child.
The question you would probably been asked about the challenges of being a Deaf mother. I believe the common answers are: ‘It’s not easy at all’, ‘Very difficult’ or ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
For me, the first thing that came to mind was my daughter’s first cry. I didn’t hear that cry for the first time. I’ve been told to take off the hearing aids (for technological reasons) when I went into the theatre. When I saw my baby the first time, I cried with mixed emotions. Happiness because she looked so beautiful. Sadness because I was unable to hear her first cry. This was heartbreaking for me. I communicated with her using sign language from day 1. I wasn’t even concerned if she was Deaf or not. Her health was the main thing that came to my mind. My ex-partner was worried, and he wanted her to go for a hearing test to make sure (the first test somewhat confirmed that she was hearing). So, I decided to take her to an audiologist for a hearing test for a second time and that time it was confirmed that she was Deaf. Deafness runs in my family. He was very upset as if his world was coming to an end. I was shocked and confused by his reaction, but I continued to do my best for my child. On the bright side, her first sign language was ‘Light’ when she was 7 months old and there is absolutely nothing wrong with her!
When she was four months old, we moved to Johannesburg, and it was the hardest decision to make because I was leaving my family behind and starting a new life there with my ex-partner (Unfortunately things didn’t work out) then I realized I needed my mother the most. She is always there for me. No matter what. However, I was on my own. Every night I had to wear my hearing device when I slept. I got up constantly at night whenever I heard unfamiliar sounds as I thought she was crying. It was hard for me to recognize when she was sick because I was doubting my intuition. It was really exhausting. It took a toll on my mental health. Becoming a first-time mother without emotional support is a very daunting experience and believing that I was doing everything wrong. I was being constantly criticized for my mothering style and the way I looked (it’s so easy to forget to take care of yourself) which led me to believe that I wasn’t good enough for my child. I was told that I was too clingy and a soft mother. It’s very hurtful because we as a first-time mother are trying so hard to do our best for our children, right? It’s so sad that most of us are going through this. Loneliness and isolation hit me hard. There were many challenges like I was unable to make Dr. appointments and I ignored when the phone rings from school about something important. So many feelings of missing out of what was going on or what was being said. I don’t even like going to the parents’ meeting. I hate to ask for assistance or depend on others. Being Deaf is isolating. Eventually, my mental health got worse, and I got a lot of suicidal thoughts. I found myself crying frantically in the bathroom. I wasn’t aware that my child was there, and she saw my behaviour. Of course, she doesn’t understand the whole situation, but she just came to me and hugged me. We cuddled on the floor for a while. When I looked at her face, I said to myself, ‘Nope I can’t do that, and I need to stop that. I must be strong for her. She needs me the most’. I decided to go for counselling, and I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety attack. Slowly, day by day I was learning how to manage my mental health and went out more often. Set up playdates with mothers. Learnt from them. I’ve managed my life better emotionally and mentally when I joined the cycling club. Sports helped me to become physically and mentally stronger, it taught me patience, commitment, and discipline. Every day I look at her and she reminds me why I’m alive and I’m very grateful to have her. She is my greatest gift.
At her age of 5 & 6, she witnessed that I’ve won Ms. Deaf South Africa 2021 and Ms. Deaf International 2022 respectively. I’m so proud to be her role model and she is the one motivated to keep going. Being a title holder is not all about gliding down a runaway in a flowing gown and a glittering crown. It’s about personal growth. Your confidence will grow. Your emotional intelligence will improve. Your perspective will change. You will become a better version of yourself and be the best role model for others. See my glittery crown. It’s red. Red represents Perseverance, versatility, and loyalty, as well the real unique essence of being a Deaf woman. This sums up my whole journey so far.
My message to all mothers,
You are simply amazing, and you do more than just give them life. You teach them right from wrong. You bandage their scrapes and wipe off their tears. You hug them when they are feeling down and celebrate with them when they are happy.
Remember all of us are lucky enough to have a mother in our lives, however we may have had someone like grandmother, aunty, sister, and maternal figures step up and fill that role for us. Show them your love and appreciation in return and they all need this. Don’t wait for Mother’s Day to celebrate. Celebrate small any day. Any time. We don’t live forever but our mother’s love lasts forever.
Thank you.
ORIENTATION & MOBILITY
The O & M Assistant trained one of her clients and the family members were so excited to see how independent their mother had become that they told her about their neighbour Mr Joe who is blind. The O&M Assistant visited him and found that Mr Joe, who is in his sixties, was involved in a car accident. The broken pieces of glass that got into his eyes and this led to him becoming blind. He is living with his supportive wife and children. He told the O & M Assistant that his priest told him that he is going to see if he keeps on bathing with the water he got from church (after bathing the whole body he must get clean water in a dish and sprinkle water from church then washed his face). He has been using that water since 2017 after the accident with no progress. However he was still unwilling to accept his disability. Ever since the accident he was depending on his wife. The wife was just pulling him when accompanying him to the toilet as she didn’t know any better. Mr Joe couldn’t count his money on his own when receiving the grant.
The O & M Assistant explained to him and the wife the importance of receiving the training. They understood and allowed her to start training him. She taught them (Mr Joe and the wife) Human Guide Techniques which are the techniques where a visually impaired is using a sighted person to guide him/her. She taught him a route from the house to the toilet while using protective techniques that prevent him from bumping into objects also using landmarks along the route so that he can refer to them if he feels like he is getting lost. She also taught him money identification.
Orientation and Mobility Practitioner taught him cane techniques and gave him a cane to use when travelling around the yard. Mr Joe is now independent. He can go to the toilet alone; his wife is no longer accompanying him. He can also identify his money on his own. When they travel together, he applies the correct Human Guide Techniques with his wife like gripping the arm. The family is now excited about life again. Mr Joe said that he doesn’t care if he can never see again because he is no longer dependent.
LEFT IN THE DARK
Ms. G is a 56-year-old single parent of 3 children. She was referred to KZN Blind and Deaf Society by the McCord Hospital Social Worker for rehabilitation and empowerment. Ms. G became blind after she diagnosed with Tuberculosis of the Bone. The TB treatment combined with Anti Retro Virals contributed to drug induced optic neuropathy and bilateral severe Non-Proliferative Diabetic Retinopathy (NPDR). Ms. G alleged was overwhelmed by the feeling that her entire life had been radically changed in an instant. The loss of her vision was devastating to her. Ms. G worked for a clothing factory, and she lost her job as she was unfit to continue working due to blindness. She hid indoors. Her friends and children could not deal with her blindness. Her children were not supportive as they didn’t understand her disability. They had many arguments and sometimes children left her alone in the house. She was nervous to do house chores independently for fear of hurting herself. Ms. G’s life was very challenging, and she had the incorrect belief that her blindness was a temporal condition. She found it hard to cope with blindness and cried most of the time.
Ms. G was provided with psychosocial support including counselling sessions on adjustment to blindness and grief stages. Challenges, family support and education on blindness, helping with coping skills and developing appropriate mechanism to enhance the independence of the client and the entire family. Due to the denial, it took almost one and a half years for to accept herself and her disability. Orientation and Mobility services were also offered to Ms. G. She was trained in Skills of Daily Living and regained independence. She is now self-sufficient, is able to travel independently and attends Society’s activities and events.
ORIENTATION & MOBILITY
Orientation and Mobility assistants in Ulundi do awareness talks and presentations in communities, with the aim of educating community members about visual impairments and the orientation and mobility services offered by KZN Blind & Deaf Society. After one of the presentations, a Community Caregiver (CCG) referred a community member (Lindiwe) that the Induna asked her to help. Lindiwe became blind eight months ago. Since then, she stayed inside the house and slept most of the day. She was irritable and moody with her daughter and grandchildren. Lindiwe didn’t use the outside toilet as she couldn’t get to it. She used a bucket instead. When her daughter was home, she cleaned up after her mother but when her daughter was not home the grandchildren didn’t want to help. The Orientation and Mobility assistant interviewed and assessed Lindiwe, identifying her challenges and ways in which Society could help. Lindiwe was taught protective techniques. These are techniques to help a visually impaired person not to bump into obstacles and hurt themselves when travelling around. When Lindiwe became blind, she felt like she was in a new environment and was scared to go outside. The orientation and mobility assistant helped Lindiwe familiarize herself with her environment, including the route from the house to the outside toilet. She uses trailing and protective techniques to go to the toilet. There is a footpath with grass in both sides that she follows which makes it easier to feel when she is veering. Orientation and Mobility assistant advised her to leave the radio on when going to the toilet so that she would just follow the sound when coming back to the house. She was also taught sighted guide techniques and skills of daily living by the Orientation and Mobility practitioner Even if she is left alone at home, she is mobile and independent. Lindiwe is no longer moody, easily irritated and she does not sleep all day long. Her relationships with her family have improved as well. The Induna was very happy that Lindiwe has been helped.
THE BITTER TASTE OF LIFE WITHOUT ID
Brenda was born Deaf at home in Clermont. Her parents, who were not legally married, did not take responsibility to apply for her birth certificate with the Department of Home Affairs. Brenda never attended any clinic either, so she did not have a road to health card. Without these documents she could not be enrolled in school. She remained home with her mother who didn’t see the need for her Deaf child to get an education. This has prevented from learning to communicate in sign language. She mostly used gestures and pointing. Brenda never learned to communicate in writing either and is unable to read and write.
Brenda’s father passed away in 2011 and her mother in 2019. Brenda was cared for by her paternal grandmother until she passed away. Now Brenda lives with her late maternal grandmother’s sister Gogo Athena who brough her at age 19 to the social worker at KZN Blind and Deaf Society. Their main concern was an ID. The social worker requested for the paternal family to assist in the application for the ID. They failed to cooperate with the social worker citing internal family issues. They said they needed more time as they had to discuss the matter with the family elders. This took several months. Eventually the social worker wrote a motivation letter to the Department of Home Affairs to assist Brenda with her application for a late birth certificate. The birth certificate was issued immediately. Thereafter Brenda applied for and received her ID!
Brenda was referred for other services. She is in the process of applying for a Disability Grant, which will be of great financial assistance for her and Gogo Athena as they have been struggling to meet ends. The social worker has also provided supportive counselling for Brenda and invited to attend the sign language classes and other programmes the Society facilitates.
For Brenda being in possession of an ID means opening new doors of opportunities, which include active engagement in the political, cultural, and socio-economic spheres of her country. It also means the restoration of her dignity and the enjoyment of the rights she is entitled to as a proudly South African.
It is very important for parents to apply for a birth certificate as soon as their child is born (this also applies to children with disabilities). Then once a child turns 16 years old, apply for their ID. These applications are free at a Department of Home Affairs.
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS
18-year-old Bheki was writing his final matric exams when he lost his eyesight due to congenital hydrocephalus (a condition he was born with). As a result, he didn’t pass matric which was devastating for him. He had worked hard in school and had dreams for himself. It seemed as if those dreams were crushed. Bheki and his family approached the social worker at the Pietermaritzburg Rehabilitation Centre for counselling as Bheki had become depressed. Through counselling, Bheki was helped to deal with his feelings regarding the loss of his eyesight and his poor matric results. He was encouraged to set new goals for himself. Bheki agreed to participate in a learnership that would equip him with skills to start a small business. The social worker put him in touch with learnership resources and he enrolled in a learnership for Business Management. Bheki was grateful for the opportunity. He utilised what he had learned and started saving money from his disability grant. He bought a brush cutter and started a business to cut grass in community. His business grew and he hired 2 persons to assist him in his business. However, Bheki still had a dream of completing matric. The social worker referred him to the Second Chance Matric Support Programme (SCMP) run by Department of Education. This programme helps persons with disabilities to complete their matric. Bheki was accepted at SCMP and has enrolled to complete his matric this year. Surely with the right support and resources, Bheki will achieve all his dreams!
After a successful awareness campaign done by KZNBDS Social worker, a community member came forward to refer a neighbor Mr. M. The 58-year-old man was living in isolation for more than 3 years after he was diagnosed with glaucoma and lost his vision. The client lost his job and went through a traumatic divorce during this period of “darkness.”
The KZNBDS social worker contacted the client to assess his circumstances and explore resources to assist him to learn independence skills, social skills, and gain confidence as a person with a disability. Mr. M was referred to the Orientation and Mobility practitioner and assistant. Upon completion of the indoor and outdoor training, Mr. M gained skills to live and travel independently using a white cane. He is now able to go to church and visit relatives with ease. This has boosted his confidence and has given him the opportunity to perform certain tasks that any abled individual would do with minimal assistance.
The Social worker family reunification with his children who he had last spoken to at the time of the divorce. Social worker also included Mr. M in various events during which he met other visually impaired people. This reduced his isolation and increased his self-esteem. Mr. M continues with individual counselling, monthly. He is working towards accepting his disability.
GENDER BASED VIOLENCE & DISABILITY
Ms K was born in 1985. She was a teacher by profession, and taught at a private school in Johannesburg. She started experiencing vision loss in 2018 after being assaulted repeatedly by her boyfriend several times. She went to her local hospital where the doctor confirmed that the assault had damaged the veins in her eyes and she can never see again.
Her family members were very overprotective. They did not allow her to do any chores at home or carry the baby at home because they were scared that she would injure herself or drop the baby. KZN Blind and Deaf Society’s Orientation and Mobility assistant conducted a presentation at a war room meeting. Ms K’s mother heard about the services and was keen for her daughter to received them. The Orientation and Mobility assistant took all the information and then visited Ms K.
The Orientation and Mobility assistant taught Ms K non cane skills to prevent her from bumping into obstacles around the house. She was also taught her and her family how to travel efficiently with human guides. This involved teaching her mother and siblings how to hold her when travelling together. Ms K was taught money identification (both coins and bank notes), how to count bank notes using the money template and how to count coins using her sense of touch. She was familiarized with the stove. The Orientation and Mobility assistant used a high marker to teach Ms K how to adjust the hear when cooking. She was taught pouring liquids safely into a cup using sense of hearing and a liquid level indicator. Orientation and mobility practitioner taught her how to use a white cane to assist her in travelling outside the home.
The Orientation and Mobility assistant found out that Ms K never told her family about the cause of her blindness. Through lay counselling, she encouraged her to inform her mother and to lay a charge against the abusive ex-boyfriend, which she did. Her family supported her through the court case and the ex-boyfriend is serving a jail sentence.
The orientation and mobility training went well. Ms K is now independent – she can cook, clean the house, count money (both coins and bank notes) and walks to the spaza shop that is 800 metres away from her home. She has dealt with the trauma of the abuse and living a happy life.
KZN Blind and Deaf Society supports 16 Days of Activism of No Violence Against Women and Children.
WE CARE
Through the social worker’s list of clients, she was able to identify that many parents and caregivers experience challenges to raise children with disability. The caregivers experience a lot of stress, have little support and feel overwhelmed. This sometimes leads to neglect of their children. The social worker designed a support group to help caregivers to understand that there are others in a similar situation; feel less alone; share common concerns; received support from others; give support to others; and cope better with their challenges. The group named itself Siyanakekela (meaning We Care). During the weekly group sessions, members shared that they were not aware that they are other caregivers in the neighbourhood who are experiencing similar problem. They were delighted to have a safe space in which to share challenges. They began to understand their children and their disabilities better and left the group feeling more empowered to cope with their daily lives. The group members exchanged contact numbers to keep in contact with each other once the group terminated. They were so appreciative of the service from KZN Blind and Deaf Society (Pietermaritzburg Rehabilitation Centre) and felt that all caregivers should join this group.
“… whatever good or bad fortune may come our way, we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.” Herman Hesse, German novelist, poet and painter